My dear friend from college wrote me this email about a synchronicity:
"I had (a cool) synchronicity with a work colleague – he told me that, since his boys were about 5 years old, just before bed, he asks each one to tell them about the best thing that happened in their day, the thing that wasn’t so good and the thing that they would have done differently! He said it helps him to get his boys talking and sharing something about their lives with him – and it gets the boys’ reflecting on their lives too. I got goose bumps when he told me about it – since, for the past few months, I have been asking our kids to tell me what they are grateful for in their day just before bed… So now I learned (how to do this even better)!"
I responded with:
"Love it!
So cool.
Just my two cents, but I would keep it as is for your nighttime routine with the kids. Keep it at gratitude and appreciation and what went well. By focusing on what didn't go well and what they wished they did better right before bed you move them to that energy and then they will hold that while they sleep and wake up at that place – out of the vortex. Always best to focus on a positive thing before bed no matter what. Even if it is oh my bed is comfortable."
She then responded with:
"Thx T. Funny that you say that. Last night I tried the new question with (my son) - after asking what he was grateful for (he said "going to his friend's birthday party"), I asked him what he thinks he could have done differently and he looked at me sideways and quizzically and said "What?" So I asked again and the turned away from me and didn't say anything. I think he didn't really understand what I meant and he didn't really want to think about it... So it is just what you are saying! Right on, as always!"
Children know that they are perfect as they are. That is one of the reasons why they are so delicious and joyful to be around. They know hat that they have it goin' on. They are pure joy, confidence and love. It is only later that they learn (erroneously) that they "could have done something better."
By asking this question my friend introduced the concept of not doing "well enough." Her son simply had no idea what she was talking about and knew enough to feel that the energy was off and so he turned away.
Children are extremely wise.