Quote of the day:
“Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand.” ― Hayley Williams
When I was little I used to walk into the kitchen in Lake Bluff Illinois to find my Mom playing solitaire repeatedly while drinking a Schlitz. At noon.
Sometimes in the morning.
I think I have been trying so hard to not be THAT that I have lost my way a little bit.
But just a little bit.
I love love love what I do and follow my heart in every moment, and at this point, act only from inspiration. I walk my talk and always listen to my emotional guidance.
But as I feel the ambivalence that has become commonplace before I leave my 5 little chicks to fly out on my book tour, I am seeing a more subtle piece of the big picture more clearly now. And I'm chuckling to myself as I feel it, because although it has become commonplace, it always takes me by surprise.
I was explaining this to one of the Supermoms at my children's elementary school this morning at drop off. She said, "Take me with you Taylor! I think I can fit in your suitcase!" So I thanked her for that perspective, and told her about the ambivalence -- and the funny thing about it -- that I'm always surprised by it even though it happens every time I leave my kids. I said, "It's like if every month when you got your period you were like, "What? What's THIS?"
The thing is, I am super blessed to be able to spend most of my time with my five children. Believe me, I realize moment to moment throughout each day what a blessing this is. And thank the Universe accordingly and abundantly.
I have been blessed to realize and manifest my dream of this lifestyle, so that I can spend most of my time with the 6 people whom I love most on the planet, while concurrently doing my Dharma and fulfilling my Divine purpose on this planet -- writing, running and teaching at Prana Power Yoga, and spreading the Prana and light.
So I am so not used to leaving my 5 little chicks, and I feel it, big time.
I remember talking to one of the students at my 4:30 AM class who traveled a lot for work. She said, "I always feel sick before I leave. It is unnatural for me to be without my children."
I totally agree with her. This feels unnatural.
Yet I am doing my Dharma and divine purpose -- something I fully and wholeheartedly love and believe in. I can only imagine what it feels like for those who don't love what they do. And I send them light as I experience this.
I have been to so many venues and have loved teaching at all of them, but the original plan was that my children would accompany me on tour -- always.
But it just hasn't worked out sometimes, like when I'm flying to the West Coast for two days. That's unfair to a three-year-old. Time change, jetlagged, long flight. It's just not right.
Also when they do accompany me, I am 110% present for my students, and so not totally present for them of course.
So once again, the Universe has delivered perfect clarity through contrast.
That's all ambivalence is –- contrast showing me/you what it is that we DON'T want so we know more clearly what we DO want.
I walk my talk, so I am feeling the feelings but not dwelling, then moving on to focus on that which I do want, finding gratitude and appreciation in the process. And I know that Universe will deliver the perfect solution -- for all.
Have the best day ever!
Taylor plus 5